Monday, April 29, 2013

A Year Later

The last year has been a tough one for me; I quit my job in the banking industry because frankly I hated it. The people around me were all dying inside and over the past 8 years there I felt myself dying as well. Some people thought I was crazy, hell I even had doubts myself because the money was good. But I could no longer and sit back while everything I believed in completely contradicted my daily life. Money isn't everything they say right?????? So fuck it I took the leap and turned in my resignation. Let me just also say that I would have never done it without my wife's approval, we have a life together and that means she has to be able to have a vote in something that would affect our family so greatly. To my surprise she was incredibly supportive, although she has always supported me I thought in this case she may have some reservations because it was such a big deal. But she supported me 100%, so with that I went for it. So there I was ending an 8 year career with Wells Fargo in which I accomplished many things, travelled to many places and met all kinds of people. But no matter how you look at it Wells Fargo is still an evil corporation with profit over people as its philosophy which in this world is commonplace. I spent two weeks in India training individuals to do the jobs of other people in my own department, and witnessed some of the happiest people in the world working for what Americans would consider peanuts. That is something that stuck with me, and although I do not envy their everyday life of chaos I did envy their attitudes and outlook on life. I will forever take that experience with me throughout my journey called life, and when I feel down on myself I try to remember how good I have it even though monetarily I don't have it as good as I used to. The past year I've had some ups and downs, after I left the bank I did some soul searching to try and figure out what I could make money doing that I would enjoy and grow from. So I started looking, and looking, and looking................. The search went on for far too long, and when the money stopped coming in it was starting to wear on me. I went in to a deep depression, trying to figure out what I had done with my life and if I had been selfish to leave a job which provided for my family and allowed me to provide them with the things they wanted. I contemplated the fact that maybe my family would be better off without me, and that I hindered them more than I helped them. So I decided that I needed to find a job and I went to school to get my trucking license, got a job as a truck driver and have been driving to every corner of the Western United States. The job is fun, however something is not right. I am spending 6-7 and sometimes 8-9 days on the road, alone without my wife or kids. And while the alone time has allowed me to think about life and what I really should be doing, and time to write some comedy which has always been a dream of mine. This is not what I had in mind when I left the evil bank. But it's an experience that I will take with me for the rest of my days here on earth. So here I sit, in front of my computer spilling my guts to anyone who will listen. Still debating, still pondering, and still wondering if I made the right choice. Money isn't everything, but it sucks when you don't have it. But my soul feels better than it did a year ago, my kids aren't starving, we're making it!!!! Maybe everything will be alright..................